monkey down

[hee hee]...last night at work i ate it big time. ...twice. it was fucking hilarious. one of the servers had the pleasure of seeing both and asked me if i was ok, while a fellow chef caught the second much funnier fall. he kept apologizing for laughing...but i don't blame him. i was cracking up too...and was only sad that i didn't get to see it from his point of view. i know had i astral projected myself out of my body to watch myself fall the second time a mere 3 steps away from the frist, i would have peed my pants from laughter. limbs flailing and tail not doing its job of keeping me upright by latching on to something bolted down like the old beer taps nearby and instead allowing me to catch some good air before my flat ass introduced itself to the wet kitchen floor. unfortunately my butt, neck and shoulder are a little sore today. that's nothing...because luckily my phone broke my fall. and now has some internal 0s and 1s running amuk. "what was your phone doing in your back pocket anyway?" asks the annoyed verizon customer service agent. "well, if i put it in my front pocket...i could cut off some fingers when i get the happy surprise of a phone call while at work...i put it on vibrate when i'm working. ...so....is that covered under warranty? ....how about workman's comp??"