Friday, August 31, 2007

super neko

ok. i haven't even been at my new job for a month yet and they are already making me a supervisor! hell yeah! my first quarter duty is to be in charge of cleaning [duties rotate with 3 others] shit! i know some of you are laughing right now because you know how i love to organize everything...[making me happy and requesting my services to re-organize your crap] and that i am boarderline ocd on being a neat/clean freak. never mind that pile of dirty work clothes that seems to have manifested on the floor of my zen den. or the t-shirts intertwined in there that are decorated with random paint splatters. that's the monkey side of me surfacing.

at any rate my new bosses go lucky when they hired me. or was it i got lucky when they hired me? not sure yet what's going on in this crazy fishbowl i now reside in. maybe i really am if only i'd get to the good part where my soul mate finds me!...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

kitty in the fish factory

the other day at work it suddenly hit me why my new job hole was so familiar! no, it wasn't because somehow all my new co-workers have seem to be manifestations of past friends and co-workers. it was because this kaiten style sushi corrales us chefs like we're some kind of exotic animals. this means that as i'm standing there in my zen like trance making sushi, there is a conveyer belt cruising past my nearly blind eyes preforming merry go round duties for the happy little rolls of uncooked goodness. [ok, most of them are cooked...] and this scene playing out before me hit the memory drawer and out came the opening sequence to laverne & shirley. ...where the beer bottles go along on their conveyor belt trip to their new 6 pack home. and then i could hear the theme song in my head as i sighed and watched the sushi roll on by. i cocked my head in boredum also....that is until i violently stabbed my knife into the sushi, cracking the plastic plate it was greenhoused on, and wedging it into the belt. if you were wondering...of course i didn't use my expensive sushi knives but the cheap industry grade chefs knives provided to us. i also couldn't help but sport that look of satisfaction as i not only startled some college girls, but made some kids get the roundest eyes i've even seen on a haole. of course the forward motion of the embedded knife sliced through internal computer cables to disable the monitoring system...which is down anyway...but managed to cause a short in the entire electrical system within the store. no biggie. and i'm sure the parents of that kid that didn't keep his hands inside the booth when they told him to quit touching everything that went by appreciated the well learned lesson their now gimpy prodigy was taught. but it sure was funny the way the grease from the tempura'd foods fueled the sparks from the grinding metal into what turned into a ring of fire around us contained chefs. it was so pretty because at this point all the lighting was out. it was like being at a circus! because of the bear that came out of the bar riding a unicycle and sporting a bra on its head like somekind of northwestern fashion statement snatching up salmon sashimi off the line like it was fishing off in the wild. i wasn't about to tell him he had to wait to be seated by the hostess...not after i saw what happend to the old lady that guffawed at him for his lack of table manners.

but seriously...

the new jobhole rocks. not because we have a unicycle riding grizzly. or because the great owners who offered me a job from afar aren't going to fire me if they happen to read this and wonder what kind of whack job they hired. [i'm sure the did somekind of background check on me. oh, you didn't? oops, now you know...] but because everyone is so darn nice. and the customers regard me like background music ...until they need it turned down. but i turn it up for them. this is because the sushi-go-round is so fascinating to them i have to...well, how do i compete with that? i want their experience to continue on being an entertaining one. what's funnier then watching me drop plates across my station [and sometimes off onto the floor] like i'm a cracked out vegas dealer?

but mostly i find myself in a trance from the sushi going by. this is good. daydreaming means lots of creativity for the canvas at home. but it's also bad because i start thinking about all my friends i left. in the end its all good...getting my zen on. and hell...its like watching cartoons!---the flintstones and seeing fred running to the front door and realizing wow! the inside of his house is like a mile long! but shit...they seriously need to get an interior designer in there because i keep seeing that same table with the same talking dodo bird lamp go by! imagine the size of the sushi back then!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

bus monkey

well, having left the truck behind has left me with lots of exercise by way of running after the bus to get to work. or home after work in the middle of the night. i missed the bus one night because i didn't get out of work on time and didn't feel like sitting at the bus stop for nearly an hour so i called my couz and she ever so kindly picked my ass up.

i do enjoy getting on the wrong bus and having to walk extra blocks and blocks home because i don't like to read what bus is collecting me and i just jump on. or off. its ok. exercise is good for me...and the weather and scenery here kicks ass!

i'm loving riding the bus. keeps me out of more accidents. now i just get to watch them happen right outside my window and not be responsible! today the bus tried to take out this lady and her fancy golden car. when she finally noticed the side of the bus was trying to eat her mirror and give the front end complimentary liposuction because she was in the way, she freaked out and sped off. it was pretty funny.

i also love that it takes me an hour to get to work. when i only live 15 minutes away...if i drove myself. but hell...this way i get to listen to music, get in my meditation time, and daydream! oh right, i did all that when i was driving. that explains the beautiful custom exterior of my former truck.

and the people that get on the bus are funny. me included. i like to make up stories with myself about what they do, where they are going, why they are on the bus, why are they making that face, and did that girl just sit next to me because i was the most harmless looking? someone should warn her.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

that other job

i just got back from being a bad kitty and shopping in ballard. i found birthday gifts for my dear friends back in hell though. i know they'll be mad since i am not working yet and am pretty close to broke. but that's to change real soon. the broke part.

i also went for a ride with my couz who was running errands. he took me down aurora. used to be main drag through seattle. he said there were now only gangsters and hookers. hookers! didn't see any though. but did see the porno shop and strip clubs...where i saw some hottie get her shit out of a hummer. and i said...that's what i'm going to do on the side! be a topless dancer!!! hell, she's got a hummer, must be making the big bucks! not that i want a hummer. fuck no! just the money. makes sushi...and dances topless!

ok. not really. it's a great idea in theory to get out of debt and spoil my friends with gifts and trips and such. but i hate dancing...i have like 3 left feet. picture that with getting naked. ...yeah, not a pretty sight. plus i don't have big boobies. but some of you know i'm not shy about dropping the clothes. ...there was that one kauai'i photo shoot where i surprised everyone...

friday fun

so today my cousin treated me to a cut and color makeover! i'm now short and spiky/messy again...and blue/black! a color that i don't think i've done yet. [my hair is naturally chocolate brown if you were wondering] its weird looking at myself in the mirror because the last few months i've had crazy bright colors. like the crayola factory exploded on my head when i wasn't looking.

i also went with my new little brother...down to the bar that's connected to the barber shop where i got my hair done. yeah, funny huh? i had the perfect neko burger...the king's burger. which comes with bacon, mushrooms, sauted onions, cheese....and sweet potato fries! fuck yeah!!! oh. and lettuce, tomato, onion...and one immensely tiny pickle! i had to take a picture...and worried the server who asked if everything was ok.

i also somehow kept that all down after having a glass of pinot evil before the trek to downtown ballard....a pint of moose drool before, during and after the meal [i'm a lightweight that doesn't like beer...but i couldn't resist with that name!] ...and a shot my little bro said i must have called a washington apple. it was delicious! i could drink a busshel of those. and i did pass out on the living room rug with bob purring away on my chest. ...although my cousins came home to find me sprawled out with the kitty under the chair curled up by my hand. too bad they didn't take a picture of that! you'll just have to use your imagination!...

Thursday, August 9, 2007

transplant complete

i've finally made it up to my new home. and unfortunately i've spent too much time changing most of my profile so i am pretty tired and running on fumes. i'm also a little cold sitting here in my zen den [developed by my cousin for me!-yeah, i already know i'm a lucky bastard] the bed is looking mighty inviting! my hoodies didn't make it yet...i seriously think they went to minnesota and then back to phoenix even though the ups guys told me they intercepted it. well, today the last 2 boxes i sent out when they told me they fixed their mistake came already. maybe my cousin's ups man is boycotting those 13 boxes i warned him about...because he already had to try and deliver 7 big heavy ones 3 times before i was present to sign for them. i am not sure what i packed in those other boxes besides my hoodies, jackets, shoes, and i guess they can mysteriously explode. besides...the computer and art came...and those are the most valuable things i own. ...especially since i gave away everything else.

so the best part of the trip here was being the lucky recepient of further security scrutiny. hmmm...did i spell that right? fuck it. you know what i'm saying. don't you? that i won a free frisking from a cute security officer. yes, i said cute. a little more to the left i said. its a good thing tris reminded me to put my knives in my ship though baggage. ...and i luckily remembered to put away the 4 on me and really big one in my messenger bag. yup. don't want to mess with me in the parking lot. i'll gladly let you get up close and personal with one or all of them.

and then the weirdest thing that happened was that one of my bags was having a good ole time riding the carosel when i got down to baggage claim [with the other one hot on its heels]! what?! i promise i went directly from my seat to baggage claim without passing go and collecting 200 dollars. well, ok...the guy that sat next to me just shadowed me off the plane. but we were speed walking through the terminal pushing elderly folk aside and kicking kids the back of kids heels. i think he was sad that i am not working at ra anymore. he actually asked me if he gave me his name if i'd hook him and his wife [who wasn't on the plane] up. um, yeah...right. i didn't even get to hook my friends up! ok. that was a lie. i shared my last employee meal of beef teriyaki with sheets.

that was a great night. the best night i had working there. because it was my last night. never mind i had to train my mediocre replacement...some haole girl that started out making what i ended making in tip percentage. something is seriously wrong there! if i had blond hair and big boobs i probably wouldn't have started out at 0 for a few weeks. but i digress...and who cares about all that anyway? past is past...i only care to remember that it was the best night there because my friends came in to say goodbye and the boys let me leave early [it was dead] so i could go have dinner with them and relax. i also got to help out my favorite server there [like she needed it] by having the hostess sit my friends in her section. sadly i didn't ever get to hang out with her, but at least i got to a tiny bit at work and my friends all got to meet her...and my other two favorite servers that are brave enough to take me on as a friend. they made my night [and that of a few of my friends] by coming out and hanging with me until what, 4am? bonus karma points for them!

i'm already missing my brother and childhood friend [who stayed up for me to say goodbye at 4am when my ride to the airport came to collect me]. i even miss my pseudo brother i never saw since he got a girlfriend [now fiance]. and i especially miss my little sister! not to mention her mom all the great friends i made off of her. ok...and elvis doggie too. but i know they will at some point all be up here to visit me. and i still get to bug them by phone and email. yay for free long distance and verizon in.

and now i'm really tired. all i have to say is that you can drink the water here out of the tap! oh...i guess YOU already do if you drink dasani! ha ha.