Friday, July 13, 2007

leaving the litterbox

right now i SHOULD be sorting through my shit to give away and pack up. 7 days [and 33 years of stuff to deal with] until my orca pod comes to pick it up and swim it up to seattle! hell yeah, SEATTLE!!!

ok... you probably didn't get the orca reference. i happen to share the name [my real one] with the late actor whale of free willy fame. my last semester at asu this way cool artist classmate, teeroy, surprised me with a gift! here i hardly talked to him all semester...being intimidated and all of his mad skills. anyway, on one thrift store outing he came across a t-shirt with the famed free willy whale and my name on it! i was floored by his thoughtfullness to say the least. it's one of my favorite shirts...on my skinny days. being a kids shirt and all.

how cool would it have been to be starting a new life [like the legendary phoenix] on friday the 13th?! i'll just have to be satisfied with the fortune awaiting me within all those scratchers a former co-worker and friend gave me last night as a going away present. that's another shining example of how lucky i am to have the wonderful friends i do. it was a birthday dinner in her honor and here she had gotten ME something!

so the procrastinator in me has once again taken hold. working best under pressure sure has its disadvantages. but its perfect for meeting art deadlines and being a sushi chef in a busy restaurant! if you were to come dumpster dive behind my house in a week you'll most likely find a ton of good shit. you could have a healthy second income off ebay or craigslist with the stuff i'll be tossing in a frenzy to get the hell out of the litterbox.

i can't wait for RAIN and SEASONS other than hot dammit, being surrounded by WATER [which is great for someone who can't swim], lots of foliage that is GREEN and doesn't bite back, awesome lowbrow art [hopefully mine included]...hell, just art that ISN'T cowboy art, PORTLAND and VANCOUVER being only a few hours away, playing outdoors on my bike and kayaking...and now i'm getting distracted by hunger...

i'll definatly miss my friends and go through withdrawls from not being able to let myself in unannounced at my pseudo little sister's house to bother her when i'm bored [which is on any given day off] and watch her dish equipped tv with elvis doggie. i won't be able to pop into my parents house to get my mail and steal toilet paper and a free meal. but hey, like they all have they have an excuse for a vacation to seattle-where they will always have a place to stay for free at. that is, if they do my laundry, clean the house, make me breakfast in bed, and drive ME around the emerald city. ...just kidding guys. i'd be the other way know it! i'll even miss those fellow sexually harassing chefs at work and the hot college girls i work with that i never got to's probably better that way. i can't hold very much liquor.

next time i write i'll be enjoying my new home out of the litterbox, i'll have to come up with a nickname later. for now i'll have to call it the bean hole. the birth place of starbucks you know. luckily i'm a tea drinker...

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

sushi bombs

do you know how entertaining it was to celebrate independence day the japanese way? hiding little chinese firecrackers inside every scallop dynamite roll we sold that would commence a sneak attack on the customers was genius. scallops embedded up nostrils and viva roll toupees-fez! well, at least those unlucky bastards that sat in my section received a special dynamite fireworks show. we all picked different rolls. i really wanted to spark the crazy monkey because burning mango would just smell better. and because i'm the resident monkey chef.

...and this is why i fucked up on so many rolls today. i was off in my own little world daydreaming about blowing shit up. but hey...i got a 10 tip from two funny guys that let me mess with them and made my day by sending it right back. i made fun of them for coming in to have sushi on the 4th of july...that they should have been sitting in the pool with a brewskie and hotdogs grilling. you can grill while in the pool you know, its not like taking a bath and microwaving popcorn. they said it was too hot to being 119 and all. the best part was the one guy who looked like his hangover beat mine asked me for a real utensil because "this cracker can't deal with the chopsticks anymore!" why can't all my customers be like that? or the two ladies that i had. one was a return customer i recgonized and she asked me to recommed something good that didn't have raw fish in it. i sugessted the spicy lobster. [this is because of how much i just love to make this roll] while they were chowing down on their one roll apeice i asked how it was. i got 4 thumbs up and then i said good, because i forgot that the fish in it was raw. ha ha ha. they laughed and it was great.