Sunday, June 17, 2007

inked

i just went to seattle for a two day vacation. i would have liked to stay longer and not return to the litterbox of course. but having a job and not having any vacation time kept it a short two days with a return flight back to hell. i don't think i'll ever get used to the heat. and especially so when my room makes me sweat like a piggie. [yes i have ac and its cranked down to 71 but i don't know where its going to] but the trip up north was more refreshing than a illegal dip in the neighbors pool despite its length. extra bonus because i finally got a tattoo. finally. i think its due to having my midlife crisis. i've been wanting one since i was in my 20s. but got my nose pierced and had every haircut and color from non existant to hanging out by my ass instead. if i was a hot asian chick i wouldn't have to subject myself to such fun costume changes...which i just realized i have been doing in an effort to detract from not being a hot asian chick and never wanting to act my age. i just realized this tonight when i was talking about it and showed the hot hapa server girl i work with my tat. [jessica is yet another shinning example that hapa girls are hella cute and still holds that hapa theory of mine in check.] and then one of the hot haole servers came over [my favorite one there, and not because she thought i was only 24...but bonus good karma for her for that one] and said it looked fake so jessica said she had just drawn it on with a sharpie. tomorrow i want to tell her it washed off in the shower.

so what is it that i've just branded myself with until i'm on my way to be reborn? my family crest. two hawk feathers nestled in a diamond...that's part of what's behind the two feathers everywhere in my art. my brother has the same tattoo, but mine is the negative of it and it was designed on the fly by my [yet another famous artist] cousin up in seattle that i stayed with. [it was kind of a last minute thing as the plan was to go to the art museum] i love tht i can look at it all the time, anytime and get my head back where its supposed to be...remember i can do anything and i'm stronger than i think because i have samurai blood running amuk inside, and that the people who have made the most positively profound impact in my life are my best friends...who also happen to be my cousins sharing the litterbox with me.

so i had my right ass cheek branded like the ox i am in the chinese universe. ...i'm kidding. its on my right shoulder. i could look in the mirror in my cartoon world and see the reflection of my self portrait i painted looking back at me all intoxicated like from that one midori sour. never mind that in the painting i have a hoodie on and the diamond is absent. someone probably stold it. the diamond. or the hoodie. would explain why i can see my tattoo on my bare flesh there. or maybe its the x ray vision i aquired from getting laquer thinner in my eye from my printmaking/artist assistant job prior to this digit dismembering sushi chef one i now have.

the tat didn't hurt at all. it tickled more than anything. well, not anything the sound was just annoying because it reminded me of being at the dentist...and i hate the dentist as i've had two root canals and numerous crowns unnecessarily put on in order to fund my dentist's daughter's college fund. so i don't know what all you pussies are talking about. half way through i already wanted another one and had ideas bouncing around the coconut. one of those stone koi that adorned the rooftops of homes back in the day in japan...it denoted the residence of samuai and so protected them from danger. and we all know how that angel of mine could use some help keeping me out of trouble! and i definately want a japanese style phoenix [that i am going to draw myself] when i finally take flight from here and start my new life and start living my dream. which i imagine will be real soon. in like two minutes to be exact when i get my ass to bed to recharge for the double i am pulling tomorrow with a fucked up back and neck from my fall at the wonderful workman's comp denying restaurant i work at...oh the joy of painkillers...

Saturday, June 9, 2007

monkey down

[hee hee]...last night at work i ate it big time. ...twice. it was fucking hilarious. one of the servers had the pleasure of seeing both and asked me if i was ok, while a fellow chef caught the second much funnier fall. he kept apologizing for laughing...but i don't blame him. i was cracking up too...and was only sad that i didn't get to see it from his point of view. i know had i astral projected myself out of my body to watch myself fall the second time a mere 3 steps away from the frist, i would have peed my pants from laughter. limbs flailing and tail not doing its job of keeping me upright by latching on to something bolted down like the old beer taps nearby and instead allowing me to catch some good air before my flat ass introduced itself to the wet kitchen floor. unfortunately my butt, neck and shoulder are a little sore today. that's nothing...because luckily my phone broke my fall. and now has some internal 0s and 1s running amuk. "what was your phone doing in your back pocket anyway?" asks the annoyed verizon customer service agent. "well, if i put it in my front pocket...i could cut off some fingers when i get the happy surprise of a phone call while at work...i put it on vibrate when i'm working. ...so....is that covered under warranty? ....how about workman's comp??"

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

it pays to look down

on the way out of the grocery store tonight i pushed my cart right over what i thought was going to be someone's discarded trash. i happened to quickly glance down and noticed it was a $20 bill! i stopped in my tracks and looked around me to see who could have dropped it. there was no one nearby and so i snatched that bill up and continued on my way. i can tell you that i don't feel all that great about it...i would like to have given it back to its rightful temporary owner. but being cash, anyone would have gladly staked a claim to it. i'm just going to try to accept it, and that perhaps the universe is telling me something.

looking down all the time has its advantages. finding wayward bills, chips on the casino floor in vegas, and seeing you put your slippers on the wrong feet on your way in the store!