Saturday, October 20, 2007

drunken monkey...

a lot of interesting things have happened this month that i need to tell you about.

1. i found out that work is so much more enjoyable when you're a little buzzed. all those potheads, coke fiends, and alchies at ra actually had one up on me because the reason i was unhappy at work was due to my straight edge nature. hey, i didn't make vomit gunkan or pinki maki and managed to stay upright during the entire shift! and yes, it was only one midori sour. so even though i was being bad...i'm still a dork. i thank bartender nina for allowing me to live just a little bit more. i hope she is doing the same off in the french carribbean. yup, one of the nicest and most welcoming co-worker left this week for an adventure on a boat. something i could never yet another person to live vicariously through.

2. i've already missed 4 days of work this month. which doesn't sound like a lot. but for someone who prides themselves on being punctual and reliable. [you can stop laughing now] well, that seems to have gotten buried in the litterbox. the last sick day resulted in being spared a sewer shower at work. no joke. a potty pipe broke up over the bar and got shit all over shit and they had to close the store! apparently corey [the resident artist that did the kids cups] ended up with a piece of poo on his shoulder as if it was trying to be his pirate friend and he nearly puked in response!

3. the sick days have led to the revelation that my digestive track has finally gone on strike. seems like i can't ingest fried fatty foods anymore. no more cheetos and spam. definately no more fish and chips and rootbeer. no more tempura or keiko chicken. won't be able to eat your unwanted prime rib fat. i might as well throw myself in front of the 75 bus instead of getting on it.

4. speaking of the 75 early foggy morning i sprinted down the street to the bus stop hoping the bus didn't come already. this is where my anxeity and stress now originate from. i think i have given birth to a bus ulcer. so imagine my relief when i saw the bus just a block away pulling up as i was a few feet from the bus stop. an old lady standing there also assured me the bus would stop. yeah, and how many coconuts have to fall on my head for me to quit standing under that palm tree? apparently its going to take me a bit longer to get the hang of this bus thing. because i was in the motion of getting out my bus pass when all of a sudden the bus sped up and away! yes, i did remember to put all of my clothes before leaving the house. i spied the old lady waving away the bus. ...the stupid fucking bitch!!! i could have sworn i yelled that out as i came up behind her and pushed her down in the gutter and kicked her until my leg got tired. [which wasn't very long] so how does the bus driver notice other people running down the street but not someone standing at the stop? the mysteries of the metro.

yes, i have anger management issues and boy is the seattle kokon taiko group going to be sorry come sunday when i break something as i get all my pent up frustrations out.

5. japanese people are racist. so maybe i got bachi for this one. now i know what it feels like to be treated like absolute shit by your own kind. imagine being on the receiving end of that racism stick by someone of your own race. if you come to seattle don't ever go into fuji restaurant unless you are flawless in your japanese. and japanese. what do you get if you're a gaijin or japanese american of the american kind? worst service ever! unless you're that black couple that is probably keeping the joint in business by patronizing it every day.

6. so big surprise at the vietnamese restaurant green leaf a few days later. after all those wonderful asian american studies classes i have learned that other asians generally don't like japanese. apparently neither do japanese. and wrongfully i just expected similar treatment. racist-i mean japanese of me! not only was the service the best i've ever had...the food was fucking delicious! and we scored a sweet desert! not the meat ice cream i asked for. but still just as oishii! [delicious] so how many of you think i've learned a lesson and will quit being anti-asian?

7. there's actually a udub cheerleader i work with at u village that is super rad. really nice and pretty darn cute. too bad i'm transfering to fremont. she said it made her really sad that i was leaving. me too. but we all know what the end result of that would have been anyway.

8. there's actually a japanese boy i work with that i like. yes, i said japanese and boy. i generally don't like asians. [there, wasn't that fast? lesson learned...where's my asian a+ bitch?] but this one is pretty cool. he is into music and i have someone to talk to. he said he liked my drawing style after i invited him down to the zen den after he gave me a ride home. yeah...what a slut. haha. no really. all i did was show him my portfolio. could this also be a reason i wanted to go to fremont? [there's also a girl there that moved last year from prescott...a little bit of home, sorta]

9. today there was a freak 5 minute hail storm that bombarded us with golf ball sized hail. while standing at the window i wondered if that was a good idea should said window blow up. you know me...still standing there staring. i went out after and documented god's dirreah. after i stomped around in it a bit. [see my foot prints?] luckily today was my day off...but had i been loitering around the bus stop i would have been bruised but dry with my umbrella, knee length rain jacket and pink polka dotted galoshes. 3 items i've never owned, or had to think about owning in my life living in the litterbox.

10. i've just had a mike's hard lemonade and a glass of pinot evil at dinner. and i'm somehow still awake at 1:30. the lessons on being a lush are going well i'd say.

11. well, that would be projecting into the future 2 days when i go to my first taiko lesson. you'll have to check back later to see what transpired there!...

1 comment:

Goomie said...

Hey Keiko!

Interesting what you said in #5 -- had the same experience but backwards. When I first moved here from Japan, my sister and I were teased and made fun of by Japanese American kids because we didn't speak English very well! Go figure! Anyway, that's probably one of the reasons I'm married to a gaijin. Ha ha!